ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Randomize
