They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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