Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
