At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
