brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Randomize
