what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
