i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
