My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
