We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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