I just saw a hot homeless man
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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