The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
