Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
