under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We were destined to go to rehab together
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
