If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
ttyl tear gas
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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