im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
