Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
