ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
