Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
BRING THE BAGELS
I have fence marks all over my body
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
