So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
