We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
