He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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