filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
