The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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