No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
