DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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