a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i will never coherently bang her
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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