Your dad touched me again.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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