I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
