Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i think i have two assholes
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
