as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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