WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
