In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
