There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
