somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
