We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
The struggles of a small town man whore
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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