Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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