Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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