I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
