You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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