remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
