I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
