Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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