Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
