"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
she pinky promised me she was 18
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
