Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Rumble strips road head = magical
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I party with great urgency now.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize