Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize