Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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