I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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