I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
