she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
