physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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