I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
