Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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