Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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